Sorry, Prime Minister. The party is over

Whenever I read about the seemingly continuous stages of bacchanal festivities in Downing Street over the past 18 months, one question comes first to my mind. Who exactly is responsible for finding the excuses for Downing Street? Because whoever they are, the poor are struggling. If I were Boris Johnson, I would make the appointment of a first-class apology writer my top priority.

Yesterday’s apologies were the weakest yet. A newspaper had published a photo leak of the Prime Minister and a large number of employees having drinks in the Downing Street Garden in May 2020, during the first and strictest lockdown.

How were they going to get out of this one? They couldn’t very well tell that it was a social event, because at the time all social events were banned by the government, even those organized outside. But surely they couldn’t call it a staff meeting, as so many people in the photo were drinking wine and the then Prime Minister’s fiancee – who is not a staff member – was in attendance.

In any case, no one seems to have found a satisfactory alternative. Because when Dominic Raab, the Secretary of Justice, was taken to the airwaves yesterday to defend what happened, he slammed and waded like a fish on a dock.

Gamely attempted to make the case that the event “was not a social occasion, it was the staff having a drink after the meetings”, which was obviously very different. Either way, he said, everything was flawless as Downing Street Garden “is a place of work” and the participants were “all in costume or mostly in work clothes”. As for the then Prime Minister’s fiancée, she had only “intervened” – and anyway, it was “a little bit charitable” for anyone to complain, because they had had “a good day. fulfilled ”.

In summary then: the event was legitimate because it was held in a workplace, even if it might look like a garden to the uninformed eye, and everyone was dressed for work, even if they were drinking. wine and munching on cheese and not doing just about any job.

I’m sure Mr. Raab was doing his best with the material he was given. I hope he will understand, however, if the public remains somewhat perplexed. Because whatever garden event took place precisely two days after a Downing Street press conference in which a member of the public, speaking by video call, asked the Prime Minister if he was okay to meet people from other households like while you were outside. And the Prime Minister replied no. At most, he said, you could exercise in the park with someone from another household. Just one. That was it. Anything more would be dangerous and against the rules.

There may have been a deviation from these rules that the Prime Minister forgot to mention. Something like, “You can exercise outdoors with people from as many different households as you want – provided that while exercising you drink wine, munch on cheese, and mainly wear clothes.” work clothes. The presence of drinks, snacks and costumes will ensure that the virus cannot spread. “

If such an exemption did not exist, however, I fear we would have to consider another explanation. That is, as of May 2020, the country’s rulers all knew it was perfectly safe to socialize outdoors with people from different households. Yet, they banned the rest of us from doing it anyway, while continuing to do it on our own.

Yet, whatever the truth, good luck to everyone in Downing Street in their efforts to explain the next round of allegations, whenever they arise.

“Contrary to what this highly misleading photograph may appear to show, the Cabinet was not doing the conga. In fact, as part of this government’s commitment to promote first aid training, each minister was practicing the Heimlich maneuver on the minister in front… ”

pot harry

The organizers of real quidditch contests are considering changing the name of the sport, in order to “distance themselves” from JK Rowling after his comments on trans issues. For my part, I find this news deeply disturbing.

Until now, I just had no idea that there were adults who chose to spend their free time running around a field with brooms between their legs, pretending to be flying wizards. Yet, it seems that these people really do exist. The revelation deeply moved me.

Then again, the more time JK Rowling’s enemies spend running around a field with brooms between their legs while pretending to be flying wizards, the less time they’ll have to spend fuming on social media. So maybe we shouldn’t discourage them.

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