Discomfort with trans coach could derail the fun – The Durango Herald

DEAR ABBY: My 9 year old daughter “Kennedy” plays volleyball. One of the assistant coaches is a transgender woman. I knew the coach before Kennedy started playing. While I’m okay with a transgender person coaching my child (I feel his gender identity is absolutely none of my business), my husband is not. He wants our daughter to give up a sport she loves so she won’t be “exposed” to something he doesn’t agree with. He’s not transphobic, just very conservative, and he doesn’t want Kennedy growing up around him.

We try to steer him in the right direction with our Christian beliefs, which include loving and accepting everyone. The coach doesn’t broadcast the fact that she’s transgender; my daughter learned it from a teammate. There are no other volleyball teams in the area. How can I convince my husband to let her stay with a sport and team she loves? – Sports Mom from the South

DEAR MOM: Actually, your husband is transphobic and maybe also homophobic. He may think that by forbidding Kennedy to participate in volleyball, he is protecting her. However, what he doesn’t understand is that children are already conscious. Her friend certainly is.

As Kennedy ages, she will meet many “different” people – different races, religions, and sexual orientations. As a good Christian, she should accept them and love them for what they are. She shouldn’t be punished by being forced to give up an activity she enjoys.

PS Has your husband met the assistant coach? Maybe he should approach her at a practice and introduce himself, so he can get to know her as a human.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve struggled during the COVID pandemic. I’m a stress eater, but got it under control years ago. However, over the past year, I have had issues with stress-related drinking. I sneak many shots of whiskey or vodka. I’m lucky it was only noon and there was no driving, but I had a few power outages.

My husband of over 35 (we are both retired) has no idea I have this problem. In the past he said he could control it, so I can too. He feels the same way about our weight. I walk four miles, work out every day, and eat healthy, but I can’t seem to lose weight. He can, at the drop of a hat. I need advice.– Injure a retiree in California

DEAR RETIREMENT: First it was food, now it’s alcohol. If you want to overcome your compulsive behavior, it is important that you understand what is causing the stress that triggers it. Just because your husband can control his appetites doesn’t automatically mean you can. It may take the help of your doctor or a licensed therapist to overcome your addiction. Once you stop drinking these doses of alcohol daily, I suspect you will notice a marked change in your weight.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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